My grandmother, Mama Louise, often reminds me that if it weren’t for her and Papa Al, me and my four sisters would never have come to be. “All of this, it’s because of US,” she says proudly.
When I first inquired into how my grandmother Louise felt about my grandfather Al back when they were young, her response was so quiveringly and overtly sexual that I was rendered speechless. I was expecting a dainty story of her sitting underneath a white armada, leaning over the banister flirtatiously while he approached her with an innocent lemonade and asked to take her to the fair on Saturday.
Rather, I got this description (and mind you, I was ten years old): “I was sitting down in a room full of people when my head slowly turned and I caught sight of this (and here she sighs and shakes her head for effect) this… handsome, handsome man. And Charlee, he had these blue eyes that just… let me tell you…(she grunts at this point) I am not kidding, they brought. me. to. my. knees.” She nodded to emphasize, waiting for me to comprehend the sheer animal force that my grandfather exuded, that she was victim to. “And even twenty years later, we’d be at a party and I’d catch eyes with him. And it would just DO things to me.” She then looked so feverish that I became frightened that my poor grandmother was under the spell of a sex God–yes, the same old man who would sit in his La-Z-Boy as I combed his single tuft of gray hair on his shiny old head, clipping it with my pink bows.
I marvel to this day that I am the product of a young man and young woman’s unbridled carnal passion for each other—even if in every other aspect of life, they seem less than compatible. It’s really something not to be underestimated, this sex appeal, this thing called chemistry. I often set up clients who find each other to be just fabulous–except they don’t feel that ‘heat’–that heat my grandmother spoke of so vividly and that embarrassed, and ultimately, shocked me, to know that it was what was ultimately responsible for my very existence.
My husband and I were talking yesterday in the car as we traveled through the desert about dating services, and he asked me if I thought whether, if I were still single, I’d ever use one. I said I didn’t know, that I’d probably just always end up dating a neighbor–I was really under the influence of the law of proximity. When I asked him, he said, “If I hadn’t found the woman of my dreams–you—then, oh definitely. Since you’ve been doing this work, I have really become more and more convinced that it as good a way as any other to meet anyone, and really, preferable and superior in many ways. Because you can still have the room to see if there is chemistry and attraction, but you don’t have to be prey to it. You have someone working on your behalf to help guide you into compatibility and health, into harmony with another person. It’s a great thing.” I would never have expected him to say that, but he is quite right. I am glad my grandmother and grandfather forged a life together, albeit based pretty much solely on sexual attraction, because otherwise I’d not be here. But I always thought it was a pity that two people should be so enslaved to each other due to this one ruthless, blind force. I always thought marriage and love should combine the best of friendship with the best of romance. And I suppose I ended up just in the right job in life to be able to see to it that there is more of that.
Seven dinners after my first tawk, the phone rang on a Monday night and like Pavlov’s dog I began to salivate. As described by Kenneth, my new date was a tall, handsome doctor.
Tawkify pops them out faster than kittens, but just as cute!
Mr. Darcy (name changed for their own good) impressed me from the first sentence; “hello Victoria.” That simple. Yet, when a stranger– with sexy vocal cords– utters my name I’m more attentive. Mr. Darcy started off the conversation talking about the Knicks, as he happened to watch the game before the call. Just the Knicks alone led to 2 different topics. Not only did we find out that we both played basketball in school, but Mr. Darcy also opened up about his connection to Jeremy Lin. Well, figuratively.
He painted a vivid painting of himself within 5 minutes — I had an idea of his physical appearance and sentimental nature without seeing a photo or reading his dating profile. But most importantly he did not solely talk about himself — he merely included himself in the topics we both related to.
Mr. Darcy interrupted our bursts of laughs and me-toos to ask for my number since the phone call was about to end. Yes, yes take my number down, quick, before the call drops– 917-609…. beeeeeeep.
The call ended… My dating life in a nutshell.
It’s time to pull on your short shorts and pop your collars. Well, no need to do all of that if it isn’t your personal style… but at least throw on your favorite summer gear and get OUT there this weekend.
Summer has officially begun, the sun is shining (well, in most places), and you’ve never been sexier than you are right now. Here are some tips for catching the eye of an alluring stranger, from bars to beaches and beyond.
Coffee Shop Showdown: If you see a hottie waiting at the coffee bar for his/her iced coffee, let them know you think they’re cute by sending out good vibes. A smile, the initiation of a joke about how long it’s taking to get your orders, or a flirtatious “Is that your skim cap or mine?” can go a long way. I can’t tell you how many of my friends met their current partners at Starbucks. Iced coffee is a great bonding tool.
Another coffee shop tip– so many telecommute or work-from-home professionals use their local java stop as an office. If you are a freelancer, or are between jobs and networking, set up shop with your laptop at a cafe and spend the day there. You never know what attractive, entrepreneurial people you might meet!
Fun in the Sun: The beach is a free zone– free from stress, free from thoughts of work and drama with friends. The beach is your place to be a kid again, so why not enjoy some mild flirtation while soaking up the rays? Bring a frisbee, volleyball or other prop when you hit the beach or lake with your single friends. You’ll feel confident approaching cute singles to have them join in the fun when you’re in a group setting. Bonus: your killer bod is on display; a bathing suit is the perfect advertisement for what you’ve got.
Backyard Romance: Your friend is throwing a barbecue and inviting some single friends of his/her significant other. Perfect opportunity for you to shine! Show up wearing your cutest I-look-great-but-don’t-try-too-hard summer outfit and bring a special homemade food or drink item to strut your domestic skills and all-around thoughtfulness. Not a culinary genius or natural bar master? Invest in a delicious crowd-pleaser like RIPE all-natural margarita mix and a bottle of tequila. Party’s here!
Happy Hour Hotness: Summer is the perfect time for enjoying your city, and no one can pass up an outdoor happy hour. Even if you don’t drink alcohol, happy hour on a rooftop or sidewalk is a great opportunity for mingling with strangers. The summer air and a $3 beer or $1 oyster puts people in the mood to meet each other. Scope out the best deals in outdoor, early-evening dining and drinking in your town and show up with a single friend and tow… and an open mind.