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Why Can’t We Be Friends?

November 3, 2015

Can you form a real friendship with someone after a breakup? 

In a recent post by Jezebel, “Taking a Break to Be Friends Is the Most Baffling Activity Known to Humankind,” the conversation turns to couples who decide to break up---sometimes without technically calling it that---in order to be friends. Uh huh.

“Friends means we watch Netflix at your apartment and I complain to you about my new relationship. Friendly means that if we pass on the street, I’ll smile and say hi, rather than try to fashion a weapon out of the objects in my handbag.”

Check.

“Personally, I believe the only way to truly be friends with a serious ex is if you had already entered the friend zone before the breakup. Because when you end a relationship that’s still sexually charged, or that one person isn’t ready to give up, it’s impossible to hang out afterward without wanting to [screw], marry, or kill each other.”

Checkmate.

Hmm. It kind of reminds us of that quote along the lines of, “Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and then putting the same underwear back on.” Kind of gross -- we know -- but potentially accurate? On the other hand, if you don’t really want your ex to be your ex… is there a reason for that?

What do you think?

  1. Is it ever a good idea to stay friends with an ex? Under what circumstances?  

  2. If you are friends with your ex (or exes) is the friendship better than the relationship was… and if so - how/why?

  3. Do you think people who tend to be friends with their exes post-break-up do so for healthy reasons, or simply because they can’t let go?

Love, 

Team Tawkify

Art by Beth Hoeckel

In Relationships Tags Team Tawkify, The Question Series
← The Heart Beat: Relationship “Do’s” and Oh, please “Don’ts” The Skeleton Game →
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When your matchmaker photobombs your engagement shoot! 
We had a blast surprising Tawkify couple Dana and Alex in Colorado. A big thanks to their matchmaker, Gaby Aratow, who kept mum to preserve the secret. We got em'! #tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #engagementphotos
👉🏽 Don’t miss the #stopmotionanimation 👉🏽 Today we’re thankful for Dana and Alex, recently engaged Tawkify couple, who we spent the day with last month in Lafayette Colorado. Their full engagement photo gallery was just released, thank you @coletterobinson and @jesseperi! Kudos to Matchmaker Gaby Aratow for making yet another match that led straight down the aisle. Match made!

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Tawkify engagement photoshoot sneak peek - Congrats to our client, Dana, and her fiancé, Alex, Tawkify matchable member! 
Hats off to @coletterobinson for her beautiful photography! 
#cureforthecommondate #matchmaker #datingservice #tawkify
Single mom, Dana, lost her husband a decade ago. She was paired with Matchmaker Gaby and they embarked on a search that led to Alex, Dana’s fiancé! We had a blast with this couple at their engagement shoot 2 weeks ago, and are so excited for the big day, 6.30.2018. Thank you to Alex and Dana for sharing their Tawkify story, we love you! #cureforthecommondate #tawkify #matchmaker #datingservice #matchmaking
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So here are the best ways to stay empowered when dating is bringing you down, according to matchmakers... Read: How To Stay Positive While Dating, According To Matchmakers on Bustle.com!

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"Authentic intimacy occurs in the realness of the ecosystem between two people now, not in the promise of a dynamic that may or may not ever come to fruition." Cora Boyd, Tawkify Matchmaker & Heartalytics columnist. Want more? Read: At The Intersection of Dating & Relative Value at www.heartalytics.com

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice
Flashback to our photoshoot with former clients, Amy and Douglas, in Houston. Both single parents of young daughters, this couple had incredible energy, love and joy to share. We love you Amy and Douglas!

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice
"Having everything in common is too much of a good thing," Kimia Mansoor, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify tells Bustle. "Many people think that having shared interests means you've found your soulmate. Some dating apps even use mutually liked pages as a way of connecting people. When you have everything in common with your partner, you’ll find yourself without any time apart and without anything to contribute to one another's lives. A balance of common and separate interests is ideal, as having some separateness from your partner is essential to building a long-lasting bond." It's all about balance.

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