At the end of every year resolutions are tossed around like flapjacks in a diner. Your flatmate is cutting out soft drinks. Your business partner has resolved to lose that extra 10 pounds. Your parents have agreed to spend more quality time together...but what about you?
How will you kick off 2017?
The best New Year's resolutions are quite literally gifts that we give to ourselves. Yes, many resolutions involve withholding or limiting something (soda, alcohol, shopping, electronics) - but you are receiving something in exchange (health, a happier liver, a growing savings account, more free time).
What gift can you give to yourself to begin (and end) this new year with revived vigor and confidence? I reached out to our Matchmakers to weigh-in on this topic. Specifically, I asked: What changes would improve single folks' lives in 2017?
Per usual, I received fantastic insights - and even got a little New Year's love from E. Jean Carroll. Enjoy!
Matchmaker Alyssa Bunn offers up three resolutions to kick us off:
1. PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT
What is the one thing you'd do if you were afraid to fail? It's not that life is too short, but rather we often wait too long to begin. Make a goal to achieve in 2017. For me, it's learning to play piano. My parents met through music and songwriting is in our blood, but I've neglected to embrace this natural talent until now. I've already purchased a piano and songwriting journal and committed to playing 20 minutes per day. On average, it takes over two months for a habit to 'stick.' Make a small, realistic goal each day (or week) to keep you inspired and motivated.
Success happens in small steps.
2. LEAVE THE PAST IN THE REARVIEW
Let go of the negative feelings or memories you harbor against yourself or others. Resolving to let go of hurt and pain will allow more space for new, fresh memories. Treat 2017 as a new chapter and hit the personal 'restart' button so you can leave the past in the past. To quote C.S. Lewis:
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
3. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Life is busy, but when we look at our phones an average of 150 times per day, I believe that we can all make time to jot down at least three grateful moments. When we appreciate life's simple pleasures, we generate more positivity by being aware of all we have (instead of focusing on what we don't). What we focus on expands.
Matchmaker Celine Song shares her own personal 2017 resolutions:
This year, I'd like to be...More open to new people, new worlds, new experiences. Less dismissive and less judgmental.
Better in touch with myself. Self-care, self-understanding, self-acceptance are all something to be practiced daily, like a Buddhist monk going to temple. It's not something that can be purchased, or picked up in the back of an alley, or even found once you find your soulmate.
Matchmaker Catherine Broadbent also parcels out her wishes for the new year:
There's a latin phrase "cura personalis" which translates to "care for the entire person." In 2017 I want to focus on what that means in all aspects of my life - mentally, physically, emotionally, environmentally. In 2017 I would like to learn what it really means to take care of your entire self, not just what I need to do daily to get from sunrise to sunset.
Matchmaker & Customer Success Lead, Angie Lee, provides an important reminder:
Let yourself have more fun!
We live with enough pressure to meet deadlines from work, family, friends, etc. Your love life doesn't need to have a deadline too. When you meet someone, get out of your head and instead, focus on being completely present.
Dating can be serious, but it doesn't have to be joyless.
Making someone laugh by sharing a joke, anecdote, guilty pleasure, or what have you, feels pretty good. Learning about yourself can feel pretty good too. Celebrate those small victories and embrace your silly side. After all, time flies when you're having fun.
Matchmaker Gaby Aratow offers:
The wonderful philosopher Alain De Botton (you may have read his famous article from the NY Times "Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person") believes the key to a good relationship is 'generous interpretation.' In other words, in 2017, give people the benefit of the doubt -- it will ultimately benefit YOU.
And in conclusion, Tawkify Co-Founder & Elle Columnist, E. Jean Carrol, offers up these tips for daters in the upcoming year:
Remember: The Goal of Flirting Is Love.
(All right! All right! The goal of flirting is also sex.)
Never Forget: The Essence of Romantic Love Is Uncertainty.
Happy New Year brave singletons!
Valerie Presley Ackler