Renée is our incognito "Dear Abby," if you will. Veteran marriage counselor and published author, Renée gets to the heart of it without prevarication. Enjoy this week's truism on Ask Renée...
Q: “A man just asked me on a first date (yay!)...it’s to a family member’s wedding (hmm). Is that too much for a first date?” --April S.
Hi April,
Hmm…this is a good one. I see why you might feel a little uncomfortable about going to a wedding with a brand new beau, especially as it's a family wedding! This will potentially put you in the position of being bombarded with questions about the relationship; even though one hasn’t even started yet.
On the flip side, the fantastic thing about weddings is you’re able to see a man’s sensitive side. Weddings are romantic, emotional and when he’s close to the individuals present, it’s quite intimate too. Want to know how he treats his older relatives? Done. Want to know how he gets along with his younger cousins? Done. Want to know how he feels about weddings and commitments altogether? Done.
Are you the kind of woman who likes to know pretty soon into a dating situation if someone has long-term potential? Perhaps more importantly, are you the type of woman who wants to "meet the family" right away? If you have no qualms with the later or the former, then GO! You’ll also be able to learn more about his personal style, if he enjoys dancing, if he has a single romantic bone in his body -- all valuable data points.
However, if you’re the kind of gal who prefers taking things slowly and/or you’re on the shy side (and would rather not meet his entire family on a first date) then by all means, gently decline.
I will say this, though -- Men are more calculated than we usually give them credit for. The mere fact that he even wants to bring you around his family is not something to take lightly. For that reason alone, weigh it all out before saying “no.”
Truthfully,
Renée