Since we’re in the professional matchmaking business, we run into a lot of different people with interesting stories about their past relationships. Something that we try to remind them is it’s one thing to be in a relationship--it’s something else entirely to be in one that is right for them.
And just how can you know if a relationship is really and truly right? Let’s start with some of the actual definitions of the word “right”.
When something is right, it is “good”. When something is right, it is “fitting”. When something is right, it is “favorable”.
In other words, when you’re in the type of relationship that’s right for you, it is only going to benefit you. That doesn’t mean everything is going to be perfect all of the time. What it does mean, however, is it’s going to help to make you---and them---a better person. You will only see advantages as the result of being involved with one another. You will feel good.
There are some other ways to know if you’re in the right or wrong relationship. An article entitled “15 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship” provides some great points. Below are 7 of our picks from that checklist:
- You spend time together doing things you both enjoy.
- You fight productively.
- You maintain self-identity.
- Your friends and family like you together.
- You better your partner, and they better you.
- You share a passion for your future together.
- You’re attracted to your partner, mind, body, and spirit.
And now, “25 Easy-To-Miss Signs That You’re With The Wrong Person” (we’ll list 10):
- You overthink every single thing you’re going to say before you say it, instead of feeling comfortable enough to blurt out whatever you want in front of them.
- You’re exhausted after hanging out with them, instead of relaxed and happy.
- You have no desire to grow or improve yourself when you’re around them. Instead, you feel like you could just stay in your current situation forever and neither one of you would care or notice.
- Hanging out feels more like an obligation than something to look forward to.
- You feel like you behave differently in front of your friends when they’re around, and not in a good way.
- When the two of you fight, it becomes less about getting to the root of the problem and more about who “wins” the fight.
- One of you is always making all of the decisions, instead of it being an even 50/50 setup.
- It feels like neither one of you is actually listening to the other when you are having conversations.
- You have a hard time completely trusting them, whether that means trusting them about being faithful or trusting that what they’re saying is true when the two of you are having conversations.
- The two of you have a really hard time not nagging or criticizing one another, even if it’s supposedly lighthearted.
Yikes! The reality is a lot of people live just like this on a daily basis. It’s just more…alarming to see in print.
So, take out a moment and reflect. When you stop and think about it, are you in the right relationship---or the wrong one? If you're currently single, how can you utilize these points (the good and the bad) to improve a future relationship?