The relationship with your matchmaker is unlike any other in your life. There is trust, respect, camaraderie--yes. But, you are not friends in the traditional sense. You are working together to achieve a very serious and important goal...so what does that really look like?
We asked our matchmaking team to address this concept by laying out the ideal dialogue between matchmaker and client. San Francisco based Matchmaker and Tawkify Customer Success Lead, Angie Lee, responded with a brilliant list of "Dos" and "Don'ts," to identify what information is most helpful to a Matchmaker and vice versa.
THINGS TO TELL YOUR MATCHMAKER
- Share and define desired characteristics, with anecdotes and examples (i.e. what does "adventurous" mean to you"? What does it mean for someone to be "passionate"?)
- Reasons why someone should date you. Be specific. Avoid using generic phrases like, "I'm successful" or "I'm kind."
- What scares you about dating?
- What excites you about dating?
- What's the last thing that made you laugh so much, you cried?
This one often stumps people but can be indicative of someone's humor/what brings them pure joy.
- Decide with your Matchmaker the best frequency of communication, as well as the best medium, (e.g. email, phone, text, etc).
- Preferences relating to wanting/not wanting to marry, have kids, religion, political views, ethnicity -- and clarify how important these preferences really are to you when balanced with other characteristics or criteria.
- Your honest thoughts about every match. The better the details, the better your future matches. You needn't begin a sentence with, "I don't want to be mean but..."
"Your Matchmaker is not here to judge you, only understand you."
Because being a Matchmaker can be emotionally draining. If you express your appreciation, it can really inspire your Matchmaker to work even harder--knowing they're making a positive impact.
THINGS YOUR MATCHMAKER MAY NOT NEED TO KNOW
- Desired shared interests. Interests are fleeting, plus it's okay to have different interests.
"If two people in a relationship are the same, isn't one irrelevant?"
For more on this topic, also read My Soulmate Is Nothing Like Me.
- Never put your Matchmaker down, or question their skill, diligence or intention.
This is destructive to any professional relationship, of course. Remember--you are partners throughout this process.
- Family and/or personal drama that does not relate to your dating life.
Your Matchmaker can be your confidant, of course. However, your Matchmaker is not a therapist.
A special thanks to Angie Lee for the excellent intel into a Matchmaker's mind--Merci Angie!