It's the final countdown to 2018...
Have you made any resolutions? Our Matchmakers have made a few, and some they've devised just for you! We asked our entire troop of couple-makers: What resolution(s) should singles consider for 2018?
Enjoy the winning resolutions — hand-picked for our clients, members and readers. Let us know which resolution speaks to you!
"Be actively aware of initial judgements."
After every date write down the very first thoughts you had about someone. Did those impressions change by the end of the date? Study the lens through which you see people and think about people. Are there any patterns? This is where the breakthrough for love happens.
Gaby Aratow, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
"Terminate all assumptions about what your date may be thinking or feeling."
Often our assumptions result directly from a past experience and not from the present moment. If you really want to know what someone is thinking or feeling, simply ask them — or enlist the help of a matchmaker to get to the bottom of it.
Holly McCusker, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Consider dating someone outside of your “norm.” Often times our dating patterns provide a roadmap to identify the changes we should make in the dating process. Those who are open to dating someone beyond a padlocked “type” or social expectation are more likely to find true connection.
Remy Boyd, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Many people fret over matters they cannot control, which clouds judgment and impedes capacity for trust and enjoyment. This year, I strive to reset and focus on what truly matters.
Happiness is a choice, I feel. The Serenity Prayer helps me choose happiness when events/people in life sadden, anger or frustrate me — especially when I cannot control or influence the situation.
The Serenity Prayer is the common name for a prayer written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971). The best-known form is:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
My version is:
I strive for serenity in my life, which comes from:
Acceptance of the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
Wisdom to know the difference.
Ngoc Tran, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
"Forget your story, write a new one."
We all have a story that we carry around with us. The story that tells us we need to feel or act a certain way because of things that happened to us, or tells us we aren’t good enough or aren’t love-able enough. We become tied to this story in ways that keep us from being open to change, open to love, or open in general. You are not your story. Moments in life come and go, they can shape us, but they don’t have to define us.
Melissa Rogers, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
As opposed to "resolution, I prefer to promote the concept of intention. My intention for 2018 is to create such a level of energetic overflow that it reinforces and empowers those around me.
My wish for Tawkify clients in 2018:
"See each date as a mirror to learn about yourself. We all have blind-spots and patterns that we replicate in our interactions. Every date is an opportunity to explore tendencies."
Julia Armet, Tawkify Director of Operations
Throw out the resolutions and try something new!
Focus on the feelings you'd like to experience in life versus listing out resolutions.
For example, my four desired feelings this year are: clarity, fun, freedom and love. There are limitless ways to experience these feelings, but I can be more intentional about making sure they are incorporated into my life regularly.
Shifting from resolutions to feelings in this manner have a number of benefits. Reflect on the energy experience simply by thinking of the word resolution...it creates tension and pressure — it develops a mindset that within you or your life there's a problem you must solve. I don't think that's a very uplifting perspective to live from.
You transcend this by empowering yourself to choose feelings to nurture in your life. Then, the best part is actually participating in experiences and interacting with people who are aligned with those desired feelings.
I believe this shift keeps life simple. It makes each day a pleasant surprise that you can enjoy instead of being wrapped up in the eventual achievement of a single resolution.
Marisha Dixon, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Choose one word for the year.
Whenever making a decision or assessing a situation, think to yourself: am I honoring said word?
For example, this past year, my word was "strong". When I wondered whether I was making the right choice or in a healthy mindset, I would center myself and think, "Is this strong? Would this be strong? Am I being strong?" This way of thinking is fun and more open-ended, yet simultaneously focused. The word can take on varied meanings. Of course, I wasn't always able to honor that word, but instead of thinking I failed at fulfilling my resolution, I would be grateful for being mindful and then simply attempt to honor the word moving forward.
My word for 2018 is NEW.
Angie Lee, Director of Customer Success at Tawkify
Deliberately make space in your life for self-reflection and self-care. We get so involved in the journey/rat-race that "me" time often gets lost!
Nneya Richards, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Are you stuck in a routine? Same coffee from the same shop, same route to work, same conversations in the same attire. If so, make 2018 the Year of New!
Try a new way to work, choose a menu item you wouldn’t normally try or an outfit combo you haven’t worn before. By trying a new thing everyday (even if it seems small), we open ourselves up to new opportunities and experiences. This is the way to discovering more about oursevles and possibly someone special along the way!
Dani Koval, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
In that same vein...
When new experiences are offered to us, say yes! That is (of course) if it doesn't cause bodily harm. New experiences are how we expand and enrich our lives, and also learn the most about ourselves (even if we simply learn that we aren't particularly into something).
Singles should say "yes!" to matches outside of their traditional preferences/dating history more often. Chasing after the same type over-and-over likely hasn't worked. Be open to a matchmaker's suggestions. This is how we grow and learn while dating!
Brandon Schultz, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Slow down and take notice of the things missed by moving too fast, talking too much and posting too much. If we listen more, talk less, and spend more time disconnected from social media (especially when it replaces human contact), we may notice and act on things that can bring positive change to our lives.
Tawkify helps limit the time singles spend online searching for "the one" and free them up to focus on the real, physical world around them. This is a valuable benefit to our approach!
Tami Larson, Tawkify Member Services Expert
"Resolve to be confident, open minded and patient. The dating process is a journey of personal growth and insight, aided by meeting a variety of people."
Linda Curtin, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
"I've been single for the last 10 years, since the passing of my husband. A resolution I made for myself and would like to share with our readers is: Enjoy where you are until you get where you are going! This applies to many elements of life but can also be applied to the dating process. I think a lot of singles put too much focus on finding "the one" that they forget to enjoy the process/experiences until that happens. Life is short...so you may as well sit back and enjoy the ride until the destination is reached!"
Christine White, Tawkify Member Services Expert
"Write in a journal every day. My best friend got me a book called "Instant Happy Journal," which encourages me to write a little something every day — and even gives me subject matter to write about. Writing helps put things in perspective. I believe the practice of keeping a daily journal is a terrific resolution for all. It's an especially effective tool for looking back to rediscover what you went through (and what you were feeling) throughout the year."
Candice Cain, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Start a "happy jar" this year with friends or family. Every day, anyone who is participating can jot down a quick thought to pop into the jar. Next New Year's Eve, you read them all together. For singles with children, this is a great way to include the whole family in a fun, uplifting resolution.
Jocelyn Connolly, Tawkify Member Services Expert
Utilize the word "by" to reinforce your resolution(s)... i.e. I will lose weight by putting down the bagel, filling up on protein, fruits and vegetables and taking 10,000 steps a day. By is a call-to-action!
I recommend that Tawkify clients make dating a priority in 2018 by sticking to a more consistent schedule to help map and meet their goals.
Maureen Getchell, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Streamline your life
My intention for 2018 is to make life easier. The goal is to streamline. It begins with the everyday and an analysis of how I spend my time. The question I ask: is this making my life easier? If not, I determine what changes can be made to create a routine and life that flows.
The intention I would like my clients to consider in 2018 would be to find love in everyone and everything. Love comes in many ways, not just romantic. I hope everyone has a great year ahead of them full of love, joy and peace!
Dorothy Stover, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Love every minute of your soul, and appreciate who is there to be on the journey with you. Share this beautiful human experience! Cheers to living authentically and feeling empowered for love and prepared for whatever life may throw your way. Wishing you all a healthy and bright year ahead!
Natalia Murtaugh, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify
Stop searching for "The One."
Drop whatever expectations you have for what "the one" is supposed to look like or be like. We tend to have a mental image of this perfect person in our heads, and that image guides the search. Shouldn't other more enduring factors guide the search?
This applies to my fiancé and I. I'm so happy we got to know one another, built a friendship and took a chance. With open minds we were able to see how compatible we truly were. I'm forever grateful for that. So take a chance, you never know what will happen!
Sevana Minassian, Tawkify Member Services Expert