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Dating DNA: Identify Your Attachment Style

May 31, 2017

Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract romantic partners who possess similar characteristics? If so, have you noticed that relationships with these doppelgängers tend to eventually fail? Is it random luck of the draw, are you doomed to have so-so relationships forever?

To better understand this dating dilemma, let's look to psychology and human behavior. It all actually starts when we’re born! That’s right…infants and children form unique bonds with their primary caregiver that effects how they will interact with the world. In short, we attach to our romantic mates with the same attachment style that was developed during infancy.

When you understand your attachment pattern, you can begin to uncover how it effects your interactions; not only with those you date, but through other relationship forms as well. 

  • ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
     
  • AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
     
  • SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are warm and loving in response to (and in the cultivation of) closeness. 

Check out Attached written by Amir Levine to learn more about these bonding types. The breakdown of each attachment type (and the case studies Levine shares) provide an in-depth road map to achieve more fulfilling love. Also worth noting is that everyone can likely relate to certain aspects of each attachment style. This is normal, but there is one that we operate out of most, which is our default attachment style.

Take the time to familiarize yourself with the various attachment types to achieve greater self-awareness and ultimately healthier relationships in the future. When you learn to identify your own attachment type and also recognize the styles of others, you will develop the ability to locate more compatible partners and improve existing relationships.

Marisha Dixon
Matchmaker + Executive Coach


"It's like this, you can say you want love until you are blue in the face but if your mind doesn't believe it, don't waste your time dating. Step back, dig deep and figure out what you "truly" believe about love. What does true love feel like to you? Does the thought of being in love make you happy, sad, resentful, hopeful? Pay attention to the way your heart responds to those questions. Believe in love. You are worthy" - Kristi Shanks

For more mindset, wardrobe and conversation tips to ace your first date, register for the FREE webinar I'm hosing with Kristi Shanks and Nicole Morris, this Monday, June 5th at 11am PST/2pm EST!

Registration is open to the first 100 ladies. Sign up here (and spread the word)!

In Advice, Date Coach, Dating Tips, Matchmaker, Psychology, Relationships Tags Marisha Dixon
← Wanting Monogamy as 1,946 Men Await My SwipeMatchmaker Says: (Sensible) Standard Deviations →
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When your matchmaker photobombs your engagement shoot! 
We had a blast surprising Tawkify couple Dana and Alex in Colorado. A big thanks to their matchmaker, Gaby Aratow, who kept mum to preserve the secret. We got em'! #tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #engagementphotos
👉🏽 Don’t miss the #stopmotionanimation 👉🏽 Today we’re thankful for Dana and Alex, recently engaged Tawkify couple, who we spent the day with last month in Lafayette Colorado. Their full engagement photo gallery was just released, thank you @coletterobinson and @jesseperi! Kudos to Matchmaker Gaby Aratow for making yet another match that led straight down the aisle. Match made!

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #engagementphotos
Get to know Tawkify matchable member, Sam Hai, on the debut episode of Single Spotlight at www.heartalytics.com! Are you a match for Sam? #austintx #austinsingles #cureforthecommondate #tawkify #matchmaker #datingservice
Tawkify engagement photoshoot sneak peek - Congrats to our client, Dana, and her fiancé, Alex, Tawkify matchable member! 
Hats off to @coletterobinson for her beautiful photography! 
#cureforthecommondate #matchmaker #datingservice #tawkify
Single mom, Dana, lost her husband a decade ago. She was paired with Matchmaker Gaby and they embarked on a search that led to Alex, Dana’s fiancé! We had a blast with this couple at their engagement shoot 2 weeks ago, and are so excited for the big day, 6.30.2018. Thank you to Alex and Dana for sharing their Tawkify story, we love you! #cureforthecommondate #tawkify #matchmaker #datingservice #matchmaking
According to matchmakers, there are ways you can stay positive when single, and dating is making you all sorts of frustrated. "The pressures of dating stem from the need to uphold a dating mask," Julia Armet, Director of Operations at matchmaking service, Tawkify, tells Bustle. "We all fall into the game of dress-up, with social masks being one of the greatest blocks to establishing true intimacy." if you really want to stay empowered when you're looking for love, Armet says, stop dating and start connecting. "Human-to-human vulnerability is the natural consequence of two people allowing their inner selves to shine," she says.

So here are the best ways to stay empowered when dating is bringing you down, according to matchmakers... Read: How To Stay Positive While Dating, According To Matchmakers on Bustle.com!

#yougotthis #tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #staystrong #staywoke
"Authentic intimacy occurs in the realness of the ecosystem between two people now, not in the promise of a dynamic that may or may not ever come to fruition." Cora Boyd, Tawkify Matchmaker & Heartalytics columnist. Want more? Read: At The Intersection of Dating & Relative Value at www.heartalytics.com

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice
Flashback to our photoshoot with former clients, Amy and Douglas, in Houston. Both single parents of young daughters, this couple had incredible energy, love and joy to share. We love you Amy and Douglas!

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice
"Having everything in common is too much of a good thing," Kimia Mansoor, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify tells Bustle. "Many people think that having shared interests means you've found your soulmate. Some dating apps even use mutually liked pages as a way of connecting people. When you have everything in common with your partner, you’ll find yourself without any time apart and without anything to contribute to one another's lives. A balance of common and separate interests is ideal, as having some separateness from your partner is essential to building a long-lasting bond." It's all about balance.

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #relationshipgoals #relationshipproblems

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