• Blog
  • Tawkify
  • About
  • Voices
  • Ask
  • Subscribe
  • Archives
Menu

Heartalytics

The art and science of couple creation
  • Blog
  • Tawkify
  • About
  • Voices
  • Ask
  • Subscribe
  • Archives
   Art: Julia Geiser  (caption added by Tawkify)

Art: Julia Geiser (caption added by Tawkify)

Matchmaker Says: 2nd Date Dilemma

July 9, 2017

Sometimes chemistry is immediate. It overpowers you and leaves you jittering with excitement. Other times, first date chemistry is more of a slow build which doesn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t there. It’s just more… tame. You enjoyed yourself, but don’t feel as though you might soar over the moon. Does this mean a second date isn’t in order?

If the “to second date or not to second date” enigma has you flummoxed, Matchmakers Sophy Singer and Jazzy Blossom have you covered!

Tawkify Matchmaker Sophy Singer says:

I love questions like this, because the way I see it, the answer is so simple. If your goal is to find a long-term relationship, you should ALWAYS go on the second date. 

That is, unless any of the following happened on the first one:

  • From the moment you got there, you were scrolling through your mental rolodex of date-ending excuses, to get out of there ASAP. This is a clear sign there were "no lights at the end of the tunnel," so to speak. 
     
  • The thought of this person touching you (or even worse - kissing you), made you cringe.
     
  • Your date was rude and/or inconsiderate to bartenders, wait-staff, anyone else around you (and/or you!).
     
  • Your date openly told you that he/she feels that you are not a good match for him/her.
Essentially, what I'm saying here is that unless it was a total disaster, you should always go on date #2, should the opportunity be presented to you. If you both hit it off, then obviously, this isn't even a question you're asking yourself. But, if you're on the fence or just unsure on how you feel about the person, that is because you don't know him/her yet.  

"On the fence" means there is some possibility of attraction and compatibility -- you just haven't figured it out yet. That's completely normal. It takes more than a couple hours to get to know someone!


A connection between two strangers is rare...
 

and forming a genuine connection typically only happens after it's been given a chance to emerge. Give love a chance! Go on a second date!

Tawkify Matchmaker Jazzy Blossom says:

First dates are many people's idea of The Worst. Bound by irregular silences, choppy conversation, navigating who is going to pay the bill, or being stuck across the table from a non-stop personal account of their awesome ego -- they're typically a pretty awkward affair. 

Unlike second or third dates, first dates are in many ways a trial interview for chemistry. They are imperfect, and beautifully so. People are nervous, talk too much or too little, they are over and/or under dressed, have jitters and spill things, or puff up and are obnoxiously confident. Simply put, they are not the full picture of any two people's potential because...


...the desire to impress can make us just a touch out of balance. 
 

So, how do you decide if you should overlook the mishaps and give it a second shot? One of the clearest signs that yes you should try another round is in the wondering if you should in the first place! Likewise, noticing yourself feeling something sweet towards them, or better yet, you have lingering butterflies, are sure fire signs to take a chance on a second date. 

Still on the fence? Ask yourself; did they make me smile or laugh? Feel good about myself? Ask me questions that made me think or feel curious? Did I want to ask them more questions, or know more about XY, and Z? If you responded "yes" to any of the above then in the good words of Mrs. Potts, "there may be something there that wasn't there before."

So go ahead with round two…you'll never know if you don't try!
In Date Coach, Dating Tips, First Date, Matchmaker Tags Matchmaker Says, Tawkify Matchmakers
← Dating Industry Broadcast IXInterracial Dating Preview →
SUBSCRIBE FOR EXPERT TIPS
build tawkify profile
heartalytics-02.png
When your matchmaker photobombs your engagement shoot! 
We had a blast surprising Tawkify couple Dana and Alex in Colorado. A big thanks to their matchmaker, Gaby Aratow, who kept mum to preserve the secret. We got em'! #tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #engagementphotos
👉🏽 Don’t miss the #stopmotionanimation 👉🏽 Today we’re thankful for Dana and Alex, recently engaged Tawkify couple, who we spent the day with last month in Lafayette Colorado. Their full engagement photo gallery was just released, thank you @coletterobinson and @jesseperi! Kudos to Matchmaker Gaby Aratow for making yet another match that led straight down the aisle. Match made!

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #engagementphotos
Get to know Tawkify matchable member, Sam Hai, on the debut episode of Single Spotlight at www.heartalytics.com! Are you a match for Sam? #austintx #austinsingles #cureforthecommondate #tawkify #matchmaker #datingservice
Tawkify engagement photoshoot sneak peek - Congrats to our client, Dana, and her fiancé, Alex, Tawkify matchable member! 
Hats off to @coletterobinson for her beautiful photography! 
#cureforthecommondate #matchmaker #datingservice #tawkify
Single mom, Dana, lost her husband a decade ago. She was paired with Matchmaker Gaby and they embarked on a search that led to Alex, Dana’s fiancé! We had a blast with this couple at their engagement shoot 2 weeks ago, and are so excited for the big day, 6.30.2018. Thank you to Alex and Dana for sharing their Tawkify story, we love you! #cureforthecommondate #tawkify #matchmaker #datingservice #matchmaking
According to matchmakers, there are ways you can stay positive when single, and dating is making you all sorts of frustrated. "The pressures of dating stem from the need to uphold a dating mask," Julia Armet, Director of Operations at matchmaking service, Tawkify, tells Bustle. "We all fall into the game of dress-up, with social masks being one of the greatest blocks to establishing true intimacy." if you really want to stay empowered when you're looking for love, Armet says, stop dating and start connecting. "Human-to-human vulnerability is the natural consequence of two people allowing their inner selves to shine," she says.

So here are the best ways to stay empowered when dating is bringing you down, according to matchmakers... Read: How To Stay Positive While Dating, According To Matchmakers on Bustle.com!

#yougotthis #tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #staystrong #staywoke
"Authentic intimacy occurs in the realness of the ecosystem between two people now, not in the promise of a dynamic that may or may not ever come to fruition." Cora Boyd, Tawkify Matchmaker & Heartalytics columnist. Want more? Read: At The Intersection of Dating & Relative Value at www.heartalytics.com

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice
Flashback to our photoshoot with former clients, Amy and Douglas, in Houston. Both single parents of young daughters, this couple had incredible energy, love and joy to share. We love you Amy and Douglas!

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice
"Having everything in common is too much of a good thing," Kimia Mansoor, Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify tells Bustle. "Many people think that having shared interests means you've found your soulmate. Some dating apps even use mutually liked pages as a way of connecting people. When you have everything in common with your partner, you’ll find yourself without any time apart and without anything to contribute to one another's lives. A balance of common and separate interests is ideal, as having some separateness from your partner is essential to building a long-lasting bond." It's all about balance.

#tawkify #heartalytics #cureforthecommondate #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #matchmaker #matchmaking #singles #single #datingservice #relationshipgoals #relationshipproblems

LATEST & GREATEST

Featured
Apr 20, 2018
Meet Cute: Wine Bars & Grocery Guys
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 6, 2018
Single Spotlight: 1st Generation Rebel
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018
Mar 29, 2018
Ask Jack: 5 Ways to Battle First Date Jitters
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 25, 2018
Revitalize Your Desire to Date In 3 Steps
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 18, 2018
Breakup Barometer: Relationship Spoilers
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 9, 2018
Matchmaker Says: Dinner Date Venue Virtuoso
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 4, 2018
Year-End Heartalytics Survey Results
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018
Feb 23, 2018
Ask Aly: "I'm a single parent and dating is challenging."
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 11, 2018
Mending Cupid's Bow: Be A Valentine, Get a Valentine
Feb 11, 2018
Feb 11, 2018
Feb 9, 2018
Meet Your Match: The Ideal Date Look
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018

CATEGORIES

  • Dating Tips
  • Date Coach
  • Relationships
  • Advice
  • Matchmaker
  • Culture
  • Psychology
  • Love
  • Online Dating
  • For Men
  • Offline Dating
  • Marriage
  • Love Science
  • Holiday
  • First Date
  • Interview
  • Travel
  • Storytelling
  • Tawkify News
  • Wellness
  • NYC
  • Sex
  • Statistics
  • Industry News
  • Video
  • San Francisco
  • Divorce
  • Science
  • Poetry
  • Music
  • Quiz
  • Beauty
  • Flash Fiction

Fresh Tweets

  • Learn from the past, but don't be consumed by it. Follow your instincts, If it doesn't feel right, it likely isn't… https://t.co/hhXtNbIPtM
    about 2 hours ago
  • 💡What do you think?💡 Doesn’t it send a mixed message to make the #firstmove and then not follow through by paying… https://t.co/d1vRvC8Z6O
    about 12 hours ago
  • Gee...another single who has proclaimed in the ‘Interests’ section that they, in fact, love hiking...… https://t.co/mLaOOsP0Zk
    about a day ago
  • On your next #FirstDate, try asking: "What do you love?" The choice of words alone catches ppl off-guard, which I… https://t.co/nEViy496QY
    about a day ago
  • Matchmakers must ask questions that some may consider to be "off limits." Why? Because personal conversations are… https://t.co/AAXjfVsGHO
    about 2 days ago
  • ✨Matchmaking is a process ✨ https://t.co/vFhHN8iuNx
    about 2 days ago
  • On your next #FirstDate, try asking: What is something no one really knows about you? This question is best asked… https://t.co/fCoRtfeQsG
    about 2 days ago
  • Pros of #matchmaking from a client's perspective: "With the #matchmaker planning the #firstdate, the pressure is t… https://t.co/6PVwCiCYaO
    about 2 days ago
Interested in Tawkify? Visit Our Site, Email us at info@tawkify.com or call us at 1-844-494-7280.