Best Life recently asked us for ghosting warning signs. We delivered, and you can see some of our tips on 20 Signs He’s Going to Ghost You -- but, we had more to say! Professional Matchmakers Amaris Kay, Melissa Rogers, Alyssa Bunn and Kimia Monsoor share their top ghosting warning signs.
Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify, Amaris Kay, says:
Signs of ghosting before, during and after a date.
We're all familiar with the term, bread-crumbing. This is when someone gives you a little attention each day (e.g. "Good Morning Sweetheart" with no follow-up) to keep you interested but all the while isn't really scheduling a date, inquiring about you and your interests or making much of an effort to actually get to know you. Chances are they're seeing other people and keeping you warm until they get down their roster to your name. If this happens, run - they'll only waste your time in the long term.
- Non-committal language
Look out for non-committal language during the date. If someone has to qualify their intentions (e.g. I'm looking for a relationship - but, I'm not in a rush) chances are they're not prioritizing a meaningful romantic connection right now.
- No follow-up
No follow-up plans near the end/immediately after the date is a bad sign. If you haven't made a plan or even discussed the potential for another meeting near the end of the date or right after (I'm talking at most 12 hours afterwards), chances are it's not going to happen. He/she may have had a good time and exhibited signs of enjoyment on the date, but if you're not making plans to see each other again then they're not that into you.
"Listen to the precise language people use during the date to avoid disappointment in the future."
Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify, Melissa Rogers, says beware of the...
- The "Impersonal" Ghoster
I think one of the top signs that you might be a victim of a future ghost (lol) is lack of personal information given during the time of the date or dates. When a person leaves out details you've freely shared about yourself, it could be a sign they don't see a future and are ready to disappear into thin air.
- The "I'll Come to You, Don't Come to Me" Ghoster
Sometimes you can spot it when you're noticing a person always coming to your house instead of inviting you over to his/hers. This shows that he/she wants to keep all of the boundaries up when it comes to their space -- mentally and physically.
- The "Screen Obsessed but Can't Return a Text" Ghoster
Another good indicator of a classic ghoster would be when someone is ALWAYS on their phone, yet when you're not with them they don't answer your texts and/or phone calls. Run!
Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify, Alyssa Bunn, says:
- THIRD SHIFT RESPONDER
They only respond past midnight? C'mon. No one's that busy.
- TOO MANY GRANDMOTHERS
A series of far-fetched stories of misery, misfortune, and ailing grandmothers aren't just reserved for television pilots anymore, folks. If you're asking yourself why this person has been to a funeral more than three times in the past month or feeling like you can't keep up with all the excuses, it's probably best to move on.
- THEY VANISH FROM SOCIAL SITES
Ghosts are tricky, but not that tricky. If you met on Tinder, but they've disappeared from Tinder, chances are they're not interested.
- HIT OR MISS COMMUNICATION
You've been texting, calling, and sharing dreams together, then all of a sudden your new companion goes rogue. If someone is genuinely interested, they won't go dark or communicate inconsistently without good reason.
- THE NEVER-ENDING TEXTING GAME
"If someone wants to see you, they will find a way - someway, somehow - to navigate the treacherous texting territory, pick up the phone, and make actual plans to see you."
Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify, Kimia Mansoor, says:
- Taking more than 24 hours to reply
24 hours is the golden rule, in my opinion. Many people say to wait 72 hours after the first date to reach out, but those are likely the same type of people who would ghost. If someone is really interested, they will reply to you right away; and if they are busy, they will still get back to you within 24 hours. If they don't respond in 24 hours, they are likely playing games or not interested. Beware, ghoster!
- We're not friends
If they don't accept your request on Instagram/Facebook after you have started seeing each other regularly, that's a bad sign. If they won't accept you on social media (after a reasonable amount of time hanging out), they are probably planning to ghost.
- What does your gut say?
If you are worried about it and feeling like things are off, you may have already been ghosted. Trust your instincts!