New Heartalytics column by Rémy Boyd, (In) The Spirit of Love, delves into the role spirituality and faith play in our quest to find, give and receive love. (In) The Spirit of Love is where mind, body, spirit and love intersect!
All right, I know, you’ve heard it before. People have told you in various ways and for various reasons to “just have faith.” Faith in yourself, faith in your goals… faith to live your dreams or find “the one.” Countless songs, books and movies are centered on the concept of faith.
Faith, by definition requires confidence and/or trust coupled with a belief that an outcome will occur in your favor. Believe it or not, faith pops up in most areas of daily life. There are some things we instinctually have faith in — like gravity! But when it comes to relationships, how is faith involved?
Of course, faith plays a large role in religious and spiritual beliefs, however this confidence or ‘knowing’ can stand on its own. You don’t have to believe in God or a higher power to have faith in your ability to find love and take the steps necessary to move closer to the partnership you want. In fact, faith can help move you towards accomplishing that goal faster. How?
1. FAITH FUELS INTENTION
At the beginning of every New Year we all talk about resolutions. Resolutions require setting goals, which hopefully, you stick to long enough to break a habit or make a lasting lifestyle change. To set an intention is different than setting a goal. Intention implies a deeper level of thought based on our inner most wants and desires.
Faith fuels the intention to set a goal and acts as the glue to connect your action to completing that goal.
If your goal is to establish a loving relationship, your intent involves what that relationship means to you and having faith in the effort solidifies the action to move forward.
2. FAITH BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO YOURSELF
The first question singles are typically asked: What do you want? All the time I wonder, “how do you know what you really want, if you don’t know who you are?” So, the question becomes, who are you? Naturally, the answer to this question answers the first.
Faith in yourself is confidence.
Knowing what you need, what you want, who you are... these things frame the search — leading to love. Search out the answer to these questions, believe in what you find. From this perspective, intent and goals become clear.
3. FAITH HELPS YOU GROW
Let’s face it, many of us carry issues from past relationships into current efforts to find love. Those "leftovers" get in the way! The constructive lessons learned from past relationships can be difficult to implement, especially when we cling to the destructive ones.
Faith helps pick-up the worthwhile lessons and move forward without fear or resentment from the past. There has to be room to let someone new into your life without anger, pain or projecting fears onto them. Every experience provides valuable tools to bring along on new journeys in love, use those and discard the rest. The best way to utilize faith is to trust the process and create a fresh space in your heart, that hasn't yet been occupied.
4. FAITH GIVES YOU COURAGE
How many times have you messaged someone on a dating app and received radio silence on the other end? How often do you have a great first date and a second doesn't transpire? Perhaps these types of bumps in the road lead to those icky, why do I even try, is there something wrong with me lamentations. Ask Polly has you covered — "There is nothing wrong with you outside of your fixation on what's wrong with you."
It takes time, opportunity and fortitude to date.
Dating is uncomfortable at times — especially when you're being sized-up, interrogated and/or rejected. Courage is required to meet new people, make a new friend, and to fall in love. Dating puts you in a vulnerable spot, but faith reminds us why we are making the effort in the first place. Faith says — this is tough, but I'm tougher.
5. FAITH ALLOWS YOU TO APPRECIATE LOVE
When you have confidence in something, you don’t take it for granted. You enjoy unwavering trust, with ever-expanding appreciation. Whether you are on the sidelines contemplating ways to find love or ready to take the next step in a relationship, have faith that no matter the outcome, you will be triumphant. This mindset nurtures greater appreciation for the love you have, cherishing what has been brought into your life — for as long as it is there.
(In) The Spirit of Love,