Dating would be so much easier if everyone was more open and honest with their feelings from the very beginning. Realistically, that never really happens. Unless you're super intuitive or just have special mind reading abilities, how to know if someone likes you and sees a potential future with you is no easy task.
It most certainly is not, so Bustle reached out to the Tawkify team for help. They wanted to know: How do you truly know when someone likes you? In truth, there are many signs. Read the ‘9 signs’ Bustle covered and catch the full list here on Heartalytics.
Matchmaker Coree Schmitz says your date’s recall of the details and stories you’ve shared is an early-indicator of interest. Especially if…
“The person remembers things you have said early in the date and is able to reference them as the conversation progresses. This indicates interest and attention captivation. In today's society where being present in a conversation is one of the hardest things to do, even with those we love, giving a new person full attention during a date is one of the highest compliments. To me that says, of all the 1000 things I could be thinking about right now, I prefer to genuinely hear and think about what you have to say.”
Hot Diggity Damn
Matchmaker Rémy Boyd: “Upon meeting you, he or she takes a step back to admire the view. Sometimes they'll give you a look like, damn! You can be assured at this point that they are interested.”
Boyd also shares: “Your date in inquisitive and asks a lot of questions. This means they want to learn more about you and assess how they might fit into your life. Questions are always a good sign.”
Matchmaker Kimia Mansoor, echoes Boyd: “An interested date shows curiosity - think wide eyes, bright smiles. They examine you like a sought-after specimen, observing you carefully to try to learn as much as possible. They want to know more about you, but might be too nervous to ask just yet. They might seem quiet, shy, or reserved, but they are listening and paying attention to all the little details! Sometimes these curious creatures can be easy to miss, as they might not be the first to compliment you or ask you for a second date. You may have to show interest first, opening the door for the second date, because the curious ones may be waiting for you to take the lead. They are delighted just by observing how things unfold!”
Matchmaker Rémy speaks to the power of body language: “This includes direct eye contact, smiling and facing you squarely during conversation. These indicators are clear signs your date is engaged and interested. Even a slight (respectful) touch on the arm is a sign they like what they see and hear.”
Matchmaker Marina Brenner agrees: “Yes, you can tell by a person's body language, but particularly you can tell by their eyes. If their eyes are ‘smiling’ and radiating sparkles when they talk to you. Also, if someone leans in and subtly enters your physical space with a gentle touch.”
Matchmaker Alyssa Bunn, author of Ask Aly, reminds us that imitation is indeed the most sincere form of flattery. She says:
“You may notice your date 'mirroring' or subconsciously copying your body language, gestures, speech patterns, or attitude. In other words, an interested date will reflect the energy you are expressing. Knowing this, it's important to keep your verbal and nonverbal body language in check. If you're closed, negative, or not fully present, you may squash the romantic spark before it even has a chance to emerge.”
Ask Aly side-note: We live in a society that rewards mystery and drama, but if your date is interested, confident, and honest, they will tell you (at some reasonable point in the dating process) that they are interested. If they don't tell you, they're either not interested, lack confidence, or are dishonest. Any combination of the aforementioned isn't a great recipe for romance, anyway.
My advice? Wait for someone to not only tell you that you're special, but show you. In turn, you'll most likely find yourself doing the same for them. And voila! Like that, we've got ourselves a pure, modern romance!
They waste no time
Matchmaker Sophy Singer tells us: “When someone thinks you're special, they strike while the iron is hot. Before the date (or random social encounter) is over, they're already testing the waters by making future plans. They may not ask you right then and there, but there will be a mention of something fun that you two might enjoy together in the future.
They give their time
Matchmaker Brigitte Weil says the biggest sign someone sees you as special is measured in time, i.e. “when you expect to meet for a quickie drink in that 5pm sliver of time after work and before you both have dinner engagements to attend: one drink turns into two, and you forget to look at your watch, forget to order food and you don't notice the hunger pangs, and both of your cellphones are discreetly silenced despite all the flashing and notifications, and suddenly the chairs are going up around you and someone is mopping under your feet!”
They make connections
Matchmaker Samantha Campbell says it’s all about the connections being made through conversation: “We all want to feel understood, especially in romantic partnerships. If someone thinks you're special, they'll want to showcase how they are similar to you or how they can empathize with you. Maybe you're sharing a story about a cousin who is about to have a baby, and next your date shares they just went to their first ever baby shower. Perhaps you're lamenting about how your favorite Trader Joe's treat is no longer produced, and they joke they're still grieving over the closing of their favorite restaurant. Whether it's conscious or not, they're trying to say, ‘hey, I get you.’ Your date is hoping that you feel that same connection too.”
Matchmaker Holly McCusker outlines her top indicators in points 9-13:
He/she talks about future endeavors and wanting to share them with you.
He/she points out your unique qualities and says “I have never met anyone quite like you!”
He/she says “I haven’t felt like this since…”
He/she stares a little too long.
He/she appreciates you on a deeper level than the superficial by complimenting your observations, communication-style, intelligence, etc.
Matchmaker Rachel Toh makes an interesting point for our final sign: “Let’s face it, we are all looking for that person who gives us butterflies and makes us want to be the very best version of ourselves. But it’s rare to meet someone you feel is really special and could potentially be your match.”
“When we do have encounters with individuals that make us weak-in-the-knees we’re not usually expecting it, even if we planned the date and drove to the restaurant! The feeling of being positively surprised can be expressed in many different ways, but the most common is through excitement and intrigue.”
“If your date is maintaining eye contact, asking you meaningful questions and listening attentively all while somehow appearing to have just learned some amazing secret that no one else knows… you are definitely on the right track.”
We’d like to hear from our readers and daters! What signs have clued you into a date’s interest (or disinterest)?