Since we specialize in first dates, our matchmakers are often asked for appropriate date icebreakers.
We curate blind date experiences that we plan and book for our matches.
Suddenly face-to-face with a potential new love interest, new clients struggle a little bit for “safe” topics and tried-and-true conversation starters. What should or shouldn’t they say?
Not because we specialize in wallflowers or the socially tongue-tied, but more often because of just the opposite.
Many of our clients are dynamic, successful professionals with adept workplace interpersonal skills. Being smooth occupational operators has shaped their success (which keeps them super busy), which in turn has led them to our doorstep and the engagement of a personal matchmaker--because all of that success leaves them zero time to focus on a love life.
Go-getters in the boardroom, however, sometimes struggle transitioning to the bedroom in myriad ways. Having Tawkify find, screen, and select nifty new people for them to meet just makes sense. On the other hand, they sometimes greet us with a list that’s more project-manager spreadsheet than an open-hearted search for love. And sometimes they can’t leave shoptalk in the shop.
Imagine being on a first date with Donald Trump and he... Wait, okay, that would be horrible. Imagine being on a first date with your financial advisor or real estate person or an accountant – and the suit just can’t leave the office behind, addressing you more like client or board member than potential inamorata?
A recent, real life case in point from the Tawkify Love Vault: a female client who turned down a 2nd date with an otherwise nifty fellow because, “He talked about money, work and not much else which isn't very interesting. He… didn't seem to lead an eventful life or be interested in anything unique. He was respectful and chivalrous. Just not very fun.”
So shoptalk? Definitely out. Along with these other (negative, tacky, self-focused) topics to avoid:
Anything boastful – nothing is worse than a bragger you’ve just met… nothing.
Judgmental statements about your location or other people there.
Illnesses or health issues.
Hobbies or interests your new acquaintance does not share – mentioning them is fine, droning on and on about them, not so much.
And of course:
Break Ups – especially the particularly bad ones
Dating world/site/app “horror stories” as the entire conversation. Stick to the positive.
Your experience with or past matches with Tawkify - this should NOT be the focus of your conversation or your “go-to” common denominator!
All topics above – in addition to being socially inadvisable – are past-focused. They don’t engage or involve the person seated across from you. You both deserve to meet and experience one another as if you’d just met at a book store, or farmer’s market or through friends. In such cases, you’d look for commonalities and ask questions… the LAST thing you’d discuss with this intriguing new stranger would be your battle with toe fungus or your sordid dating history!
Dating, in its many forms, shouldn’t be the common denominator between the two of you, just because you’ve met through a dating service.
So what SHOULD you talk about? Check back in on Sunday for the "DOs" of first date conversation. We would love to be your #cureforthecommondate!
Listen to your heart,
Author of The Heart Beat series