Seven dinners after my first tawk, the phone rang on a Monday night and like Pavlov’s dog I began to salivate. As described by Kenneth, my new date was a tall, handsome doctor.
Tawkify pops them out faster than kittens, but just as cute!
Mr. Darcy (name changed for their own good) impressed me from the first sentence; “hello Victoria.” That simple. Yet, when a stranger– with sexy vocal cords– utters my name I’m more attentive. Mr. Darcy started off the conversation talking about the Knicks, as he happened to watch the game before the call. Just the Knicks alone led to 2 different topics. Not only did we find out that we both played basketball in school, but Mr. Darcy also opened up about his connection to Jeremy Lin. Well, figuratively.
He painted a vivid painting of himself within 5 minutes — I had an idea of his physical appearance and sentimental nature without seeing a photo or reading his dating profile. But most importantly he did not solely talk about himself — he merely included himself in the topics we both related to.
Mr. Darcy interrupted our bursts of laughs and me-toos to ask for my number since the phone call was about to end. Yes, yes take my number down, quick, before the call drops– 917-609…. beeeeeeep.
The call ended… My dating life in a nutshell.
It’s time to pull on your short shorts and pop your collars. Well, no need to do all of that if it isn’t your personal style… but at least throw on your favorite summer gear and get OUT there this weekend.
Summer has officially begun, the sun is shining (well, in most places), and you’ve never been sexier than you are right now. Here are some tips for catching the eye of an alluring stranger, from bars to beaches and beyond.
Coffee Shop Showdown: If you see a hottie waiting at the coffee bar for his/her iced coffee, let them know you think they’re cute by sending out good vibes. A smile, the initiation of a joke about how long it’s taking to get your orders, or a flirtatious “Is that your skim cap or mine?” can go a long way. I can’t tell you how many of my friends met their current partners at Starbucks. Iced coffee is a great bonding tool.
Another coffee shop tip– so many telecommute or work-from-home professionals use their local java stop as an office. If you are a freelancer, or are between jobs and networking, set up shop with your laptop at a cafe and spend the day there. You never know what attractive, entrepreneurial people you might meet!
Fun in the Sun: The beach is a free zone– free from stress, free from thoughts of work and drama with friends. The beach is your place to be a kid again, so why not enjoy some mild flirtation while soaking up the rays? Bring a frisbee, volleyball or other prop when you hit the beach or lake with your single friends. You’ll feel confident approaching cute singles to have them join in the fun when you’re in a group setting. Bonus: your killer bod is on display; a bathing suit is the perfect advertisement for what you’ve got.
Backyard Romance: Your friend is throwing a barbecue and inviting some single friends of his/her significant other. Perfect opportunity for you to shine! Show up wearing your cutest I-look-great-but-don’t-try-too-hard summer outfit and bring a special homemade food or drink item to strut your domestic skills and all-around thoughtfulness. Not a culinary genius or natural bar master? Invest in a delicious crowd-pleaser like RIPE all-natural margarita mix and a bottle of tequila. Party’s here!
Happy Hour Hotness: Summer is the perfect time for enjoying your city, and no one can pass up an outdoor happy hour. Even if you don’t drink alcohol, happy hour on a rooftop or sidewalk is a great opportunity for mingling with strangers. The summer air and a $3 beer or $1 oyster puts people in the mood to meet each other. Scope out the best deals in outdoor, early-evening dining and drinking in your town and show up with a single friend and tow… and an open mind.
If you’ve ever watched the cautiously optimistic love story “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” I can guarantee that when you hear the phrase “kissing in the rain,” an image is conjured from the final scene of the film. If not, you’re still seeing romance. Why?
There is something so delightful about the idea of finding a special, loving moment in an otherwise annoying context. Rain is messy and unrelenting and it can make your hair go from cute to crap. No one likes getting stuck in the rain, or driving in the rain, or having to walk to work in the rain. But kissing in the rain? Now, that’s sexy.
What is your personal ick circumstance that would be much more appealing with some love? Is it the sticky summer heat we’ve started experiencing across the country? Is it a hectic morning that gets punctuated happily by a flirtatious wink from a cute stranger?
Match Girl suggests you take your next crappy day and infuse it with some romance. Whether it means taking a break from the laundry to tell your partner how you feel about them, or turning your next “caught in the rain” moment to a “kissed in the rain” day.
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The article might be a little outdated, but Match Girl thinks it is worth getting in our psychology time machines and heading back to 1999 to learn more about the science of flirting. Yes, that’s right. Flirting is more than a coquettish and/or roguish set of behaviors exhibited in bars and at co-ed picnics to gauge attraction. It’s a psychological method used by people to connect. And it’s fascinating.
“Flirting Fascination” was published in the late 90′s but the author, Joann Ellison, makes some interesting and still applicable points. She opens with an early quote from Richard Burton on his initial attraction to the lovely and glamorous Elizabeth Taylor. But beneath the violet eyes, shiny black hair and killer bod, Ellison asserts that modern psychologists would be willing to bet that: “Liz tossed her hair, swayed her hips, arched her feet, giggled, gazed wide-eyed, flicked her tongue over her lips and extended that apocalyptic chest,” and that Burton returned the favor with his own set of male flirtations.
Sometimes we see a photo and think, “What an attractive, striking person!” but still wish we could see them in person to determine if our gut is correct. Of course, even poses can be flirtatious — remember Paris Hilton’s over-the-shoulder red carpet sex kitten stare that made her such an icon a few years ago? Or what about Tyra Banks’ fortune that’s been built on her famous “Smize-ing” or smiling with the eyes? Flirtation, plain and simple.
Ellison says of flirting, “Long trivialized and even demonized, flirtation is gaining new respectability thanks to a spate of provocative studies of animal and human behavior in many parts of the world. The capacity of men and women to flirt and to be receptive to flirting turns out to be a remarkable set of behaviors embedded deep in our psyches.” It’s true, isn’t it? Whether you have romantic intent or not, do you ladies ever find yourself tossing your hair around or batting your lashes? Men, please admit to having tossed a cute smirk at the cutie behind the coffee counter this very morning.
Turns out, flirting is natural and healthy. It is a mechanism designed to help get us what we want, and it can be a terribly rewarding tactic. But whatever your intent when getting your flirt on, it’s interesting to uncover the evolutionary roots at play here. Ellison explains that flirting came about as a safety mechanism in partner-seeking:
“Our animal and human ancestors needed a means of quickly and safely judging the value of potential mates without “going all the way” and risking pregnancy with every possible candidate they encountered. Flirting achieved that end, offering a relatively risk-free set of signals with which to sample the field, try out sexual wares and exchange vital information about candidates’ general health and reproductive fitness.” Rather than risk it all, humans would flirt with each other to feel out each others’ compatibility and if signals were off, move on.
Today, flirting is a widespread phenomenon that takes place in dive bars, on city streets, and if you’re lucky, at your very own kitchen sink while doing dishes with your trusted partner. Flirting is a fun and powerful way of recognizing your own powers of sexual attraction. So get out there and get your flirt on, you sassy scoundrel!