Dating in your 30s can be tricky as it is. With a shrinking candidate pool and fewer opportunities to meet people, there are fewer potential partners to choose from as more people are off the market. If you’ve found yourself newly single and navigating the dating scene after a divorce, that’s when things get even more complicated.
Whether you or your spouse were the one who called it off — or it was a mutual decision — it’s never easy opening up your heart again after ending a marriage. Life after divorce comes with many obstacles like trust issues, loneliness, and being afraid to be vulnerable again. Yet, despite the challenges of dating after divorce as a 30-something, there are ways to overcome them to find a healthy, committed relationship.
1. Make Sure You’re Ready To Get Back on the Horse
Before you jump back into the dating scene, make sure you’ve worked through the issues you faced in your previous marriage. Taking the time to self-reflect and heal is crucial to not transferring unhealthy dating patterns into your next relationship. If you have unprocessed grief, you’ll attract other wounded people and repeat the same romantic mistakes.
So how long should you wait? While there isn’t one across-the-board timeline for when you should start dating again, make sure you’ve taken time to yourself. Even if you were the one who ended the marriage in the first place, it’s important to work through any lingering feelings of anger, resentment, or loss before starting another relationship.
2. Date Outside of Your “Type”
As tempting as it can be to stick to dating “your type,” remember that it didn’t work out with your ex for a reason (and any relationship before that). Since there are fewer eligible singles in their 30s, there’s never been a better time to keep an open mind and date somebody out of your norm. That’s how you grow as a person and change for the better in your next relationship. By stepping outside your comfort zone and taking a chance with someone different, you might surprise yourself by making a meaningful connection.
3. Never Settle
It’s safe to say the fear of being alone in life after divorce can skew your priorities. When you make decisions based on fear, it often leads to settling for a relationship that is less than what you deserve. It can be tempting to jump into a new relationship when you’re missing the company of a partner, but rest assured that ‘keeping an open mind’ doesn’t mean settling.
Staying with someone who doesn’t meet your needs is a recipe for disaster for your mental health and wellbeing. Not only that, but it’s a waste of time for both people involved. That time would be better spent investing into someone who fulfills you on every level.
4. Prioritize You
From dinners to get-togethers to travel, you likely did everything together in your marriage. You identified as a couple — a package deal — so finding your own identity afterwards can be challenging post-divorce. If you’ve lost a sense of safety and stability, then you’ll need to rediscover yourself.
While it’s easy to look for another committed relationship to replace your previous partner in life after divorce, you must prioritize yourself and maintain your individuality more than ever. When you focus on doing things that bring you happiness, it shines through and you become even more attractive to romantic interests.
5. Don’t Rely on Dating Apps to Meet People
If you’ve ever tried online dating, you’ve likely spent countless hours swiping right and chatting without any success. With noncommittal behaviors like ghosting and breadcrumbing, many people on dating apps are just looking for the next best thing. But when you’re dating in your 30s, nobody has time for games anymore.
But what if you could eliminate awkward dates with people that you have zero chemistry with? Dating after divorce would be much easier if you could stop wasting time with people who aren’t serious on the dating apps. So if you’ve done the inner work and you’re ready to find a committed relationship in life after divorce, then it’s time to try something new! Working with a professional matchmaker can help you simplify dating in your 30s and get you on the fast track to finding the committed relationship you deserve. Our personalized and proactive approach at Tawkify allows you to take the driver’s seat in your dating life — and say goodbye to dating apps for good. If you’re ready to grab the wheel, request a call to find out if Tawkify is the right fit for your relationship goals.