There is a crucial juncture in courtship where one might want a stable relationship with the person they are dating. But the other person may have different ideas – perhaps they may not be ready to commit, and they may show no indication supporting the idea of commitment in general. It becomes evident that the other person is not ready for a relationship.
The other person does not share the same relationship goals or vision of the future. If an individual wants a long-term relationship, but the other person wants to keep things casual, that more intentional individual will end up wasting their time and energy on a relationship that was never going to end well. Instead of trying to convince one’s partner to go steady – which rarely works – instead, take a step back and look at more practical options.
But first, it is vital to find out how the other person sees the relationship. Here is how to discover that:
Size up the other person’s intentions.
Every relationship has its own set of nuances and subtleties. Pay close attention to these details to reveal the other person’s intentions. For instance:
● Does the other person wish to achieve long-term goals before getting serious in a relationship?
● Does the other person hint at being together when talking about future?
● Does the other person turn lively or interested when talking about going steady?
● Does the other person drop hints about settling down?
If the answer to any of these questions is ‘No,’ the other person may not be dating with intention. When someone wants to keep a relationship strictly casual, that person focuses their energy and dialogue on the present and never on the future. But should one find the person they are dating is sending mixed signals, or one cannot accurately gauge the other person’s intentions, it is a good idea to have a direct conversation.
Be straightforward and clear.
The key is to be direct and clear if someone is ambiguous about commitment. People often avoid speaking from their heart due to the fear of rejection or do not want to risk a good relationship, preferring to let things run on autopilot. But if an individual and the other person in the relationship are not on the same page, relationship goals will remain out of sync, leading to misunderstanding and possible heartbreak. Letting the other person know clearly about future goals will put all doubts to rest. One may not like the outcome of having a direct conversation, but it is better to come to grips with reality now rather than later.
Understand the other person’s reasons.
Ensuring that someone is ready for a relationship is not about assigning blame, it is about evaluating the current suitability of the other person as a long-term partner. Instead of partner critique or indulging in self-blame, try to understand the circumstances. There are many reasons why someone may not be interested in or be ready for a committed relationship. Relationships are not just about compatibility, but about timing. It is possible the other person faces personal or financial issues that need to be resolved first. One should always avoid helping the other person “get ready,” as each member of the couple should feel ready as an individual.
Do not have self-doubts.
It is also possible that an individual who asks for more from their casual partner begins to have self-doubt. The person may blame themselves for pushing, and develop self-image issues. But this could not be less fruitful. For a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling, the relationship goals of the partners must be a snug fit. One should feel self-affirmed for finding the strength to face the issue bravely. The more a person waits for this dialogue, the worse their possible heartbreak. Moving on to find a more suitable fit is all that remains.
Finding the right partner.
If someone’s relationships always end in non-commitment, the person might be choosing the same type of individual to date again and again. It is impossible to get different results by repeatedly doing the same actions. It is essential to switch it up and experiment with the new – like consulting the professional matchmakers at Tawkify. Tawkify’s team of Cupids matches individuals based on their personality profiles, mutual interests and overall compatibility. Hiring Tawkify ensures that individuals only match with vetted singles with shared relationship goals and values. The thousands of people that found their perfectly imperfect partners through Tawkify are testament to Tawkify’s effectiveness and success.