Tawkify Favorites

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

In Defense of Cuffing Season

How and why to partake in the cold season's most prominent dating trend...

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

As the temperatures drop and the days get shorter, the prospect of cuddling becomes more palatable to the Northern single, the players of summer shed their emotional unavailability like leaves and the hustle to couple up mounts from a low thrum to a shrieking cacophony.

The game of romantic musical chairs begins. Cuffing season is nigh.  

According to the omniscient Urban Dictionary, “cuffing season” is a behavioral trend in dating that occurs during the cold months, roughly from Halloween to Valentine’s Day, wherein “people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be ‘cuffed’ or tied down by a serious relationship” due to “cold weather and prolonged indoor activity [which causes] singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”  

Data from the dating app Hinge indicates that men are 15% and women are 5% more likely to seek a committed relationship during winter than any other other season. Match.com also sees significant peaks in business during the holiday season. But our intensified desire to cuff up during the colder months isn’t a new or digitally driven trend.

Hormonally, the changes in light and temperature spike our melatonin, prompting our homebody alter ego to rear its snuggly head.

Psychologically, we’re more likely to find others attractive in the winter because, while the masses are sequestered in their houses instead of visibly running around outside, the supply of romantic options appears lower. Evolutionarily, partnering up optimizes our chances of survival during a season with less access to resources. Add social pressures to couple up to the mix, like New Year’s and Valentine’s Day, and the masses proffer their wrists, begging to be cuffed.

To navigate cuffing season gracefully, be honest about your intentions—with yourself and with your cuffee. Are you looking to extend a hookup to get you through the cold, or build a relationship that will outlast the nippy temperatures? How much of your desire to cuff is to meet physical needs, and how much is to meet an emotional desire to connect? How much of your interest in your cuffee is specific to that person, and how much is based on your general desire for sex and emotional validation? When the snow melts and you’ve read every Nancy Drew book in the house twice (2012 was a weird winter for me), will you still want to hang out with this person?

For those who don’t want to settle down romantically but also don’t want to be jerks, these are helpful questions to ask yourself any time of year. They become especially salient during cuffing season, because the drastic pull towards intimacy raises our awareness of how…

…external circumstances, like the weather, directly influence our internal life, like our dating goals.

But a lens is always present; the external always influences the internal, no matter the climate. Cuffing season merely magnifies the relationship between the two.  

So take this period of frosty introspection to heed this season-agnostic dating advice: communicate clearly, make sure self awareness gets a seat at the table, and don’t define the relationship before it has a chance to define itself. The connections we make during cuffing season may serve as a temporary snuggle buddies, or they may blossom into a Christmas miracle. Don’t do anything rash with your cuff keys until the eggnog buzz has worn off. Now, go forth, snowsuit up.  

Happy cuffing season to you and yours. 

Cora Boyd

Cora’s gift for the written word has landed her a spot among the voices of Urban Daddy, where she has penned articles on cuffing season and on the controversial trend of dating resumés.

Popular Posts

5 Ways to Win An Argument In A Relationship

It’s happened– your Springtime in Paris new relationship has hit a significant bump in the road. You’re feeling the urge to say something 180 degrees from “you’re just so perfect and amazing” to your new love interest. Congratulations– this is your first opportunity for a growth power-up!

Quell the impulse to text “We need to talk.” If you’ve already typed it in, with your thumb hovering above “send,” aim for “delete” instead. No one wants to read that; no one wants to be forewarned of impending doom unless they’re watching a movie. You’ll only succeed in spurring the imminent arsenal of defense…

Read More

GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU AM: “Love Again” by Run The Jewels

The other week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is a new father – we’ll call him Cronus – and we were talking about parental instinct. He lowered his voice conspiratorially, considered the infant in his lap and said, “Sometimes I love my baby so much that I want to eat him. Is that normal?” 

Turns out, it’s not just normal–it’s science! Olfactory chemical signals–the smells of newborn babies have been linked to dopamine spikes in the brains of new mothers, essentially triggering the same neurological reward circuit activated when a very hungry person eats, or when a heroin addict shoots up…

Read More

5 Ways to Avoid the Cliff of Contemporary Dating

I have a friend who dates online… a lot. You could say she’s popular. She gets out again and again because she’s fabulous–which is obvious, even through a screen. Yet she arrives each time preloaded with every personal detail about her date–their hometown, full legal name, and family history–often even their annual income and whether or not they rent or own. IT IS RIDICULOUS. The internet is a fantastic tool for writing a thesis, but should it be used to compose a 15-page, pre-introduction memoir on a potential romantic interest’s life story?…

Read More