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How to Get a Second Date
We like to pretend romance is easy; that if it’s meant to be, things will just click. This belies the reality that we have plenty of opportunities to miscommunicate and get it wrong, even if someone is right for us. With that said, let’s discuss some general tips for how to get that second date. 1. Build Rapport Before You Meet Nothing is more awkward than sitting across from someone you have a huge crush on, with absolutely nothing to talk about. So, before you meet your date for the first time, get to know each other beyond a few days worth of messages. You could even (gasp) have a few phone or zoom calls. Chatting with your intended date beforehand is a great way to build anticipation, and ensure you’ll have loads to talk about. 2. Put Their Comfort First A second date will be more likely if your date felt like you took their preferences into account the first time around. This is actually quite easy. Simply avoid pressuring them into doing something they don’t want to do. Check their body language and voice tone throughout the date. If you ever sense something isn’t right, it’s OK to check in. Voice something to the effect of: “I’m having a great time, but if you’re feeling tired I’d be happy to call you a car,” or “I’m getting the sense you’re not digging this, but I’d still love to keep talking. Want to go somewhere else?” These sentiments show your date you care more about their comfort than just having a good time. There is nothing more enticing than that. 3. Put Your Phone Away In some cultures, slurping soup is considered impolite. In others, the thumbs up gesture is impolite. But one rare thing we have agreed on across the globe is that checking your phone while someone is talking to you is really, really (really) impolite. Some may think constantly checking your phone can make you appear important; a signal that you’re a person relied on by others at all hours. Instead, It usually comes off as inconsiderate (at best), and arrogant (at worst). Put your phone on silent, and commit to the time you’ve given yourself to get to know the human across from you. 4. Ask Them About Themselves and Their Interests Good conversation doesn’t have to be as complicated as some people make it out to be. Yes, some of us are naturally more reserved. Others are beaming extroverts who could charm a snake into walking on two legs. If you know you tend to be shy when meeting new people face to face, consider having two or three conversation topics at the ready, to get things flowing. 5. And Listen to What They Have to Say Asking your date questions about themselves isn’t just to show you’re a kind and thoughtful person. You probably want to actually hear what they have to say. They could be giving away red (or green) flags that
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