Tawkify Favorites

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Dating DNA: Identify Your Attachment Style

Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract romantic partners who possess similar characteristics? If so, have you noticed that relationships with these doppelgängers tend to eventually fail...

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print


Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract romantic partners who possess similar characteristics? If so, have you noticed that relationships with these doppelgängers tend to eventually fail? Is it random luck of the draw, are you doomed to have so-so relationships forever?

To better understand this dating dilemma, let’s look to psychology and human behavior. It all actually starts when we’re born! That’s right…infants and children form unique bonds with their primary caregiver that effects how they will interact with the world. In short, we attach to our romantic mates with the same attachment style that was developed during infancy.

When you understand your attachment pattern, you can begin to uncover how it effects your interactions; not only with those you date, but through other relationship forms as well. 

  • ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
     
  • AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
     
  • SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are warm and loving in response to (and in the cultivation of) closeness. 

Check out Attached written by Amir Levine to learn more about these bonding types. The breakdown of each attachment type (and the case studies Levine shares) provide an in-depth road map to achieve more fulfilling love. Also worth noting is that everyone can likely relate to certain aspects of each attachment style. This is normal, but there is one that we operate out of most, which is our default attachment style.

Take the time to familiarize yourself with the various attachment types to achieve greater self-awareness and ultimately healthier relationships in the future. When you learn to identify your own attachment type and also recognize the styles of others, you will develop the ability to locate more compatible partners and improve existing relationships.

Marisha Dixon
Matchmaker + Executive Coach


“It’s like this, you can say you want love until you are blue in the face but if your mind doesn’t believe it, don’t waste your time dating. Step back, dig deep and figure out what you “truly” believe about love. What does true love feel like to you? Does the thought of being in love make you happy, sad, resentful, hopeful? Pay attention to the way your heart responds to those questions. Believe in love. You are worthy” – Kristi Shanks

For more mindset, wardrobe and conversation tips to ace your first date, register for the FREE webinar I’m hosing with Kristi Shanks and Nicole Morris, this Monday, June 5th at 11am PST/2pm EST!

Registration is open to the first 100 ladies. Sign up here (and spread the word)!

Popular Posts

5 Ways to Win An Argument In A Relationship

It’s happened– your Springtime in Paris new relationship has hit a significant bump in the road. You’re feeling the urge to say something 180 degrees from “you’re just so perfect and amazing” to your new love interest. Congratulations– this is your first opportunity for a growth power-up!

Quell the impulse to text “We need to talk.” If you’ve already typed it in, with your thumb hovering above “send,” aim for “delete” instead. No one wants to read that; no one wants to be forewarned of impending doom unless they’re watching a movie. You’ll only succeed in spurring the imminent arsenal of defense…

Read More

GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU AM: “Love Again” by Run The Jewels

The other week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is a new father – we’ll call him Cronus – and we were talking about parental instinct. He lowered his voice conspiratorially, considered the infant in his lap and said, “Sometimes I love my baby so much that I want to eat him. Is that normal?” 

Turns out, it’s not just normal–it’s science! Olfactory chemical signals–the smells of newborn babies have been linked to dopamine spikes in the brains of new mothers, essentially triggering the same neurological reward circuit activated when a very hungry person eats, or when a heroin addict shoots up…

Read More

5 Ways to Avoid the Cliff of Contemporary Dating

I have a friend who dates online… a lot. You could say she’s popular. She gets out again and again because she’s fabulous–which is obvious, even through a screen. Yet she arrives each time preloaded with every personal detail about her date–their hometown, full legal name, and family history–often even their annual income and whether or not they rent or own. IT IS RIDICULOUS. The internet is a fantastic tool for writing a thesis, but should it be used to compose a 15-page, pre-introduction memoir on a potential romantic interest’s life story?…

Read More