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Dating Instruction Roundup VII

Unconditional, radical acceptance of each other -- regardless of what anyone else thinks -- may create deeper intimacy than socially-constructed commitments...

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Volume VII of the Dating Instruction Roundup has arrived. What pieces of wisdom will this month bring?

Look to these snapshots for quick, no nonsense tips that get right to the heart of the matter…a dating instruction roundup, if you will. 

Enjoy these short, sage snippets of input and encouragement on us:

When it comes to falling in love, it’s not just fate that brings people together—sometimes it’s their jobs. We scanned data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2014 American Community Survey—which covers 3.5 million households—to find out how people are pairing up. Some of the matches seemed practical (the most common marriage is betweengrade-school teachers), and others had us questioning Cupid’s aim (why do female dancers have a thing for male welders?). High-earning women (doctors, lawyers) tend to pair up with their economic equals, while middle- and lower-tier women often marry up. In other words, female CEOs tend to marry other CEOs; male CEOs are OK marrying their secretaries. (2/17/2016, Matchmaker Says: Who Marries Who?)

Single vs. Alone. These two concepts are not synonymous. Single shaming is a real issue that many singletons experience daily- from family, coworkers and friends. So, let me clear the air: 

Your relationship status does NOT make or break your success as an individual– and anyone who says otherwise is misguided.

This is a unique time in your life. Once you are paired up, things are going to change. Your life will change. Your allocation of time will change. There is power in appreciating and enjoying this chapter of your life. (12/3/2015, Defy Single Shaming)

Unconditional, radical acceptance of each other — regardless of what anyone else thinks — may create deeper intimacy than socially-constructed commitments.

We live in a culture increasingly focused on finding a “good” partner who is “worthy” of us and can provide the relationship we “deserve.”  But this type of unconditional acceptance among partners seems destined for the endangered species list. Because, and this is the truth we all live every day, even if you are the “Perfect Partner” to your lover, it won’t save you from being alone. (9/25/2015, An Open Marriage)

If you approach every date asking yourself, “Is he/she magical enough?” and assume you can know everything about a person within a short period of time, then you are absolutely NO FUN. Magic is about suspending disbelief, being pleasantly surprised, and embracing the feeling of wonder. Exercising wonder in dating helps you discover the magic in all potential mates–and within yourself. (7/3/2015, The Most Common Things I Hear as a Matchmaker; and What I’m Not Afraid to Tell You)

See you next month on Volume 8’s dating instruction roundup!

Love wisely, 

Valerie 

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