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What a Matchmaker Suggests You Ask Yourself

Being single in the current climate can be difficult to navigate. Why not start by asking the tough questions to the only person you really know--YOU. 

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Original Art by Malika Favre for The New Yorker

Original Art by Malika Favre for The New Yorker

Tawkify Matchmaker, Olivia Balsinger (AKA the Carrie Bradshaw of Travel) recently shared with the team a list of questions she encourages her clients to ask themselves. As Editor, I felt the greater Heartalytics readership might benefit from going through this list as well…because, let’s face it–being single in the current climate can be difficult to navigate. Why not start by asking the tough questions to the only person you really know–YOU. 

  1. List 15 reasons why a significant other should date me.
     
  2. I am single because… (fill in the blank)
     
  3. Have an ex-significant other (or best friend if you’d rather) write two paragraphs about your strengths and weaknesses and then have them submit their analysis to your matchmaker. No peaking!

    If you are not currently working with a Matchmaker, review the write-up yourself. Perhaps there are points within that will provide opportunity for personal growth. Perhaps the strengths and weaknesses identified by an outsider are not the qualities you would have listed. This disparity is an opporuntity to better understand yourself–and how others perceive you. 
     

  4. I would be most compatible with a man/woman who… (fill in the blank)
     
  5. Take this test and report back to your Matchmaker with the results. 

    Sans Matchmaker? Read into your own results. Perhaps the outcome will provide a clearer understanding on how exactly you relate and communicate with others, which in turn can improve your interpersonal relationships. 
     

  6. Complete the line, “Of course this would happen to someone like me…” detailing an anecdote that is unique to you.

    Was it something positive? Of course I would win the ticket draw and take home the gift basket! Was it something unpleasant? Of course I would step in a massive puddle on the way to work in my new shiny shoes. 

It’s important to note that Olivia also crafts questions individually for her clients, based on what she believes best suits their needs, but this list is a solid jumping off point.

Matchmaker Melody Kiersz also added to the discussion with topics she likes to surface with her clients:

Something I tend to ask is what they’re like in relationship, especially regarding touch and affection, as well as where they fall on the independence versus attached-at-the hip spectrum.

I’m a big believer in the concept of ‘love languages‘ so it’s helpful to know how a client ‘reads’ love. 

“The first thing you have to know is yourself. A man who knows himself can step outside himself and watch his own reactions like an observer.” 
― Adam Smith, The Money Game

Love Wisely, 

Valerie
Editor, Heartalytics

Original Art by Malika Favre for The New Yorker featured above.

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